在20世紀 In the 20th century,
如果你想瞭解你的鄰近城市 if you wanted to know your neighbors,
你就搬到城郊區 you moved to the suburbs.
如果你想成為一個癮君子 If you wanted to become an addict,
你就搬到紐約 you moved to New York.
現在一切都顛倒了 Now everything is upside down
癮君子出現在了郊區 The junkies are in the burbs,
隔壁卻是一個該死的兒童足球隊 and the building next door is a fucking kickball league.
藝術面對商業，商業贏了 It was art against commerce,and commerce won.
孩子們認為只有畫廊裏面才有藝術品 The kids think the only place to find art is in a gallery
而浪漫唯一存在的地方 and the only place to find romance
是在雨中告白 is confessing your love in the rain,
像電影裏面那樣 like in the movies.
但是會比那個更難更糟 But it's messier than that.
事實上，總有很糟的事 Well, there's always mess.
現在安全多了，但是城市中仍有衰落的景象 It's safe here now,but there's still urban decay.
只是轉移到了夜晚派對上了 It's just migrated into the dinner parties
在上西區 of the upper West Side.
出自葉慈的《二度降臨》
最好你沒有信念 The best lack all conviction,
最壞你還充滿激情 while the worst are filled with passionate intensity.
葉慈說過，婁·裏德也說過 Yeats said that,but so did Lou Reed,
引述於他在The Bottom Line音樂會場的現場表演 quoting him live at the bottom line.
The Bottom Line曾是一個音樂場地，位於紐約曼哈頓格林威治村附近的美世街和格林尼街15號西第四街之間。
婁·裏德去世了，The Bottom Line也關閉了 Lou Reed's gone,and so is the bottom line.
也許是因為soulcycle It's probably a soulcycle--
一種動感單車訓練課程
也許是這城市僅存的一種文化了 the only soul the city has left.
每個人都假裝自己感覺很好 Everyone's pretending it's all okay,
但這是個謊話 but that's a lie.
感覺心裏少了一種東西，但我們都能感覺到 Something's missing,and we all feel it.
包括托馬斯·韋伯 Including Thomas webb.
他以為他擁有另一半，她名字叫蜜蜜 He thought he had the answer and her name was Mimi.
1976年這座髒亂差的城市犯罪率極高 1976. The city was dirty, crime-ridden and broke.
它是世界的中心 It was the center of the creative universe.
紐約失去了它的靈魂 New York's lost its soul.
最具活力且相鄰的城市是費城 The most vibrant neighborhood at the moment is Philadelphia.
我喜歡 I like that.
-是嗎？ -是的 -Yeah? -Yeah.
你從哪裏聽說的？ Where'd you lift that from?
不，這是我自己想的 I didn't. It's mine.
好，不錯 Well, it's good.
那你今晚有空嗎？ So, will you come with me tonight?
不了，你媽媽的晚餐派對讓我很沒存在感 No. Your mom's last dinner party made me feel invisible.
我知道，我們都很沒存在感 I know, but we were invisible together.
如果你不喜歡，那就別去了 If you don't like it,then you don't go.
我必須去，我媽媽很不穩定 I have to go.My mother's unstable.
開晚餐派對就像做心理治療一樣 Throwing dinner parties is how she medicates.
那是碳酸鋰還是阿普唑倉？ Yeah, so what about the lithium and Xanax?
別說是尼古丁和紅酒 Not to mention the nicotine and shiraz.
語義學 Semantics.
我要告訴你個事 I have to tell you something.
-是嗎？-是的 -Yeah? -Yeah.
我... I...
也許會去薩格勒布 Might be going to zagreb.
-哪裏？-薩格勒布 -Where? -Zagreb.
在克羅地亞 It's in Croatia.
赫爾穆特·圖 他在那經營一個工作室 So, Helmut graph,he runs a workshop there,
而且我發現我可以把學分轉到紐約大學 and I found out that I can transfer my credits to nyu.
那這樣... That's, um...
那... That's...
太糟糕了 Terrible.
為什麼？ Why?
不，為什麼會糟糕？ No, why is that terrible?
因為你是我唯一可以與之安定生活的人 Because you're the only thing in my life that I'm settled on.
托馬斯，為什麼你會這麼想？ Thomas, what do you think is happening?
你和我之間，為什麼？ Between me and you,what do you think this is?
8月8號，8月8號，我覺得那天是真的 August 8. August 8.I think August 8 was real.
那天感覺是很棒 It was amazing.
但那只是一個普通的夜晚 But it was just one night.
我的意思是，尼克在洛杉磯玩 I mean, Nick was playing L.A.
我心裏很受傷 I was vulnerable.
我們當時都很脆弱 We were both on Molly.
我想我只是一時衝動 I-i thought I was a pirate.
那只是一個普通的夜晚 And it was just one night.
好的，我非常喜歡你 Well, I'm crazy about you.
-我也很喜歡你，但是... -不要以朋友身份說 -I'm crazy about you, but... -But don't say "as friends."
為什麼，為什麼不能做朋友？ Why? Why is that so bad?
因為漂亮女孩喜歡拿新人做備胎 Because pretty girls like to recruit their rejections
並稱他們為朋友 and then call them friends.
哇哦 Wow.
紐約唯一活著的男孩
對蜜蜜來說，托馬斯就是一個新的紐約人 For Mimi, Thomas was like the new New York--
沒有危險，需要解脫 no danger, no deliverance.
這使得他需要愛 It made him nurturing
因為太無聊而去談一場戀愛 and too boring to fall in love with.
蜜蜜認為托馬斯是一個沒有神秘感的男孩 Mimi thought Thomas was a boy without mystery.
托馬斯自己也同意 Thomas agreed.
但是這一切將會改變 But all that was about to change.
裏面有什麼值得期待的東西嗎？ Anything worth opening?
只是些賬單和破爛 Just bills and junk.
W.F. W.F.
W.F.傑拉德 W.F. Gerald.
我剛搬進了2-b I just moved into 2-b.
托馬斯·韋伯 Thomas webb.
你有什麼心事嗎，托馬斯？ Why so troubled, Thomas?
什麼？ Excuse me?
我看你的臉色透露著一股壓力 I know that color of stress.
比工作問題要嚴重 It's much brighter than job issues,
比身體疾病問題要輕 more subdued than possible disease.
啊 Ah.
不好意思，我太沒禮貌了 Sorry, I'm being rude.
沒有，我只是.. No, I mean...
只是不順的一天 I'm having a bad day.
哦 Oh.
她叫什麼名字？ What's her name?
她叫蜜蜜 It's Mimi.
啊，蜜蜜 Ah, Mimi.
源自威廉明娜 Derived from williamina.
意思是「堅定的保衛者」 It means "resolute protector."
恩，你說的對 There you go.
那個.. What, uh...
你喜歡蜜蜜什麼地方？ What is it that you like about this Mimi?
你是一個心理醫生？ You a psychiatrist?
不 No.
你問了個心理醫生問的問題 You ask psychiatrist questions.
也許我能幫忙 Maybe I can help.
也許我可以幫你睡到蜜蜜 Maybe I can help you get Mimi to sleep with you.
你怎麼知道她有沒有準備好？ How do you know she hasn't already?
很高興認識你 It's nice meeting you.
恩 Yeah.
那個，你為什麼不找新鄰居幫忙？ Well, why don't you let a new neighbor help you out, hmm?
你喜歡蜜蜜哪裏？ What do you like about Mimi?
我在2-b！ I'm in 2-b!
你們在哪認識的？ Where did you meet her?
一個叫微暗的火的書店 There's this bookstore called the pale fire.
-根據書名取的名字 -那本書的主人公叫約翰 -Yeah. -It's named after John sh...
約翰·沙德的999行詩 John shade's 999-line poem.
作者納博科夫 Nabokov.
是的，他們書店在賣罕見復古的書籍 Right. Well... they sell rare vintage books in there,
我到不是很喜歡那個地方，只是環境很安靜 and I'm into that, just reading off the beaten path,
而蜜蜜在那工作 and Mimi works there.
她給我寫了一個超棒的推薦信 She gave me the greatest recommendations.
你知道嗎？ You know?
她靠自己通過了紐約大學的寫作專題 She's putting herself through nyu's writing program.
她一周看一本書 她.. She reads a book a week.She's...
她不斷提升自己 Polishing her brain.
恩 Huh.
她漂亮嗎？ Beautiful?
-漂亮極了 - Incredibly beautiful.
-她就像個女神，你知道嗎？-恩 -Like she's direct from god,you know? -Mm.
好像她根本不屬於這個時代，如果這可能的話 Not second generation,if that makes sense.
完全可能 Complete sense.
你懂得，我們互相瞭解對方 You know, we get each other.
問題是 Problem was--
他有一個男朋友 is--that she has this boyfriend.
叫尼克，他在一個樂隊裏，樂隊叫華氏185度 Nick, and he's in that band,fahrenheit 185.
一個製作海洛因最適合的溫度 The exact temperature it takes to cook heroin.
正合適 Properly.
額，來看看我們有什麼 Eh, let's see what we got.
就這個 --Yeah.
無論如何，尼克在巡演 Anyway, so, Nick goes on tour.
蜜蜜空閒時間多了，我們約會次數也多了，然後... Mimi's now available, and we're hanging out more, and...
然後我們結束於 We end up spending...
一個美好的夜晚 A magical night together.
-恩 -8月8號 -Mm. -August 8.
然後就沒了 And then... nothing.
然後就變成了友誼 All goes platonic.
蜜蜜多大? How old is Mimi?
她22歲，馬上22歲 She's... 22.She just turned 22.
你知道嗎？她還年輕 She's young, you know?
她這個年齡防衛心很大 She's at an age where defense mechanisms are very strong.
表面上看不出來，其實她很害怕 Despite her outer veneer,she's ruled by fear.
我們那段時期也是這樣，知道嗎？ Like so many of us at that time, you know.
你需要做的就是 What you need to do,
讓她更害怕 mm, just make her afraid of something more
失去你 than being with you in that way.
那怎麼做？ Which is?
恩，先分開一段時間 Mm, not being with you.
但是怎麼做？ But how?
我怎麼可能做到？ How am I supposed to do that?
恩...繼續生活就可以了 Mm... let life take over.
額，找個窗跳下去 Uh, find a window, then pounce.
就這樣？ That's it?
這就是智者鄰居給的建議？ That's your Sage neighborly advice?
能把錢還給我嗎？ --Can I have my money back?
托馬斯... Thomas...
-是托馬斯還是湯姆？-是托馬斯 -Is it Thomas or tom? -It's Thomas.
不是湯米？ Not Tommy?
-不不不 -是托馬斯 -No, never, never. -No? Ah, Thomas.
你不相信命運 You're not giving life enough credit.
人的生命中有太多的不可預測 The unpredictable forces of humanity.
-我的人生不是不可預測的 -人生就像一場夢 -My life is not unpredictable. -Life is as much a dream
-儘管可能是個噩夢 -我的生活是平淡的 -as it is a nightmare. -My life is conventional.
-我的人生是無趣的 -不 -My life is boring. -No.
即是隨機的又有注定的 It's as random as it is deliberate.
你知道，又有樂趣又有悲哀 You know, as funny as it is tragic.
你的也不例外 Yours is no exception.
我去撒個尿 I got to piss.
晚餐派對是朱迪斯的舒適區 Dinner parties were Judith's safety blanket.
一桌子的藝術家讓她擔心 A tableful of artists took her mind off herself.
杯中的酒,座位的安排 The swirl of distraction,seating plans,
八卦，食物 gossip, food--
任何一樣都使她分心 anything to keep away the dread.
這些是她童年時期晚餐所享受不到的 They were the perfect antidoteto her childhood dinners.
那種沉默的氣氛，醉後發的酒瘋 The silences,the drunken outbursts.
各地的藝術家來到紐約 Artists came to New Yorkfrom all over,
她總是接待他們，一個幻想中的 and she always took them in,clinging to the illusion
開放的，歡樂大家庭 of an open, happy family.
你會想念在中央公園西被人搶的時期嗎 Do you miss getting mugged on central park west
-當你遛狗的時候？-對，對 - while walking your dog? -Exactly. Exactly.
當然不，但我會想念第二大街的熟食店 No, but I do miss the 2nd Avenue deli.
-恩，-我會想念雷諾克斯酒廊 -Uh-huh. -I miss the lenox lounge.
我是說你知道現在那些地方的標誌物嗎？ I mean, do you know what are in those iconic places now?
一個服裝連鎖店 Urban outfitters,
星巴克... -星... a Starbucks... -Star...
曾經的搖滾俱樂部變成了John Varvatos時尚專賣店 There's a John Varvatos where cbgb's used to be.
紐約失去了他的靈魂 --New York's lost its soul.
你說什麼，托馬斯？ What was that, Thomas?
我說我同意大衛說的 Well, I was just agreeing with David
紐約失去了他的靈魂 that New York has lost its soul.
自從他在秘魯呆了三個月回來之後 Ever since he returned from three months in Peru,
他就帶著一些成見 he's decided to hate where he's from.
不，他說的對 No, it's true.
紐約相鄰且最具活力的城市 New York's most vibrant neighborhood at the moment
是費城 is Philadelphia.
這挺搞笑的，托馬斯 That's very funny, Thomas.
那個，伊森 我聽說你委託尼克·比爾頓 So, uh, Ethan, I heard that you've commissioned Nick bilton
去寫一個簡歷在Evan douriff to write the biography on Evan douriff.
我們在kenta委託辦理是非常簡單的 Our mandate at kenta is very simple--
個人簡歷上估值折扣的數量在40以下 BIOS on any haircut under 40
只要需要他們15分鐘就可以了 as long as they're still within their 15 minutes.
自我拯救，政治言論 Self-help, political rants.
沒人喜歡看虛構的東西了 Nobody reads fiction anymore.
曾經的作家 And once a writer.
-太憤世嫉俗了伊森·韋伯 -是吧 - So cynical, Ethan webb. -I know.
如果我是個作家，我會在 if I were a writer, we'd be having this conversation
布什威克的兩居室房子裏和你們談話 in a two-bedroom in bushwick.
那確實 布什威克現在房價很貴 Oh, that's true. -Bushwick is expensive now.
是的 -Yeah, exactly.
我認真的 沒開玩笑 I'm serious.I'm really serious.
我是說現在的小說家 I mean,most novelists these days,
都掙不到足夠的錢去支撐自己的生活 they don't earn enough money to support themselves.
-是的 -不管他們多有才華 -True. -No matter how talented they are.
為什麼如果托馬斯找我說有意當一個作家 That's why if Thomas came to me with a desire to be a writer,
這就是我會勸他不要當的原因 well... I'd talk him out of it.
所以你現在還是導師嗎？ So, you're still tutoring, right?
是的，為了掙點外快 Yeah. Just for some extra cash.
-他可以當一個西語老師 -是的他可以 - He could be a Spanish teacher. -Yes, he could.
我自己都不知道我能當個西語老師 I don't know if I could be a Spanish teacher.
如果他回學校學習一年的話 If he went back to college for a year.
不知道什麼原因，他不願回去 For some reason,he refuses to do it.
只說他住在下東區，沒有任何別的信息 He lives on the lower east side without any direction.
唯一沒學會的就是吸鴉片 The only thing missing is an opium habit.
做手機軟體銷售怎麼樣？ What about doing a smartphone application?
這個新搬來的人 走廊的另一頭 This man moved in across the hall from me.
我不知道他是誰他幹什麼的，但是 I don't know what he does or who he is, but...
感覺似曾相識 He seems familiar to me.
他是我結交的新朋友 He's my new friend.
-哇 -是的 -Aw. -Yeah.
-他問了關於你的事 -我？ -He asked about you. -Me?
-恩 -他認識我嗎？ -Mm-hmm. -He knows me?
我父親在這幹什麼？ What's my father doing here?
他和誰在一起？ Who's he with?
我不知道 I don't know.
她好漂亮 She's beautiful.
你知道這會 Do you have any idea
對我母親造成什麼傷害？ what this is gonna do to my mother?
這不意味著你父親對你的愛少了 This doesn't mean your father loves you any less.
-對不起，這很糟糕 -是的 -Sorry. That was bad. -That was.
我懂，就像課外的「藥物治療」 I know, like dispensing therapy from an after-school special.
我就知道，他從一開始就不關心我 He doesn't care about me to begin with, I know that.
這 This...
這影響到我的母親 This is about my mother.
是的，但是這是他們的問題 Yeah, but...It's their problem.
你有你自己的問題 You have your own problems.
什麼問題？ Like what?
-額 -還是別說了 -Uh... -Actually, don't.
別回答了，不是時候 --Don't answer that. Not now.
托馬斯 --Thomas.
看著我 Look at me.
看，你父母 Look, your parents,
他們的世界和我們不一樣 their world is nothing like ours.
我是說也許是他們那一代的問題或 I mean, maybe it's their generation or...
我也不懂 這個世界 I don't know-- this island.
但是你很善良 But you're kind.
很真實 And you're real.
別這樣 Don't do that.
我是說你看你很年輕 I mean, look, you're young,
你的防衛心也很強 and your defense mechanisms are strong.
但我認為你是有需求的 But I think that you want this.
-真的 -我認為 -I really do. -I think...
我認為你現在很困惑 I think that you're confused right now.
不，蜜蜜 我現在很氣 No, Mimi, I'm angry right now.
我很生氣 I'm angry.
你看到那個女人了嗎？ 你看她多美了嗎？ Did you see that woman? Did you see how beautiful she was?
我永遠也得不到那樣的美人 I could never get a woman like that.
但是我父親的出版社 But my father,with his publishing house
和他的樣貌 他可以出軌 and his-his good looks and his-his cheating...
-那個髮型 -哇 -Fucking hair. -Wow.
所以呢 你要用你父親的外遇 So, what, you're gonna use your father's affair
來證明你的不完美？ as a confirmation of your own inadequacies?
不，蜜蜜 No, Mimi.
我有你了 I have you for that.
怎麼了，你打我辦公室電話說要吃午餐 So, you call my office,you say you want to have lunch.
你從來沒有和我吃過午餐 You never want to have lunch.
我猜你有個大的驚喜 I figured you had a big surprise.
也許你想明白了你的未來 Maybe you've figured out your life.
不，顯然沒有 No. Definitely haven't figured out my life.
-恩 布魯斯 -我想和你談談 -Mm. Bruce. -I wanted to speak to you about...
-謝謝你的票 -很高興認識你 -Thank you for the tickets. -Good-good to see you.
-不客氣 -她很享受這個演出 -Well, of course. Any time. -Oh, she enjoyed the show.
-朱迪斯 非常感謝你 -很棒是吧 -Judith. Very much. -It was...It was good, wasn't it?
-是的很棒 -那就好 代我向朱迪斯問好 -Yeah, it was great. -Great. Say hi to Judith.
我會的 ，好的 I will, indeed. All right.
我想你搬出下東區 I want you to move from the lower east side.
你為什麼堅持住在 Why do you insist on living in the farthest corner
曼哈頓的角落遠離我們？ of Manhattan away from us?
我認為那是有意的 I think it's intentional.
我覺得這很傷感情 I think it's almost... hurtful.
聽我說 Look...
我不是在為我說話 I'm not asking for me.
我是為了你的母親 I'm asking for your mother.
她想你離家近一點 She wants you closer to home.
母親怎麼樣了？ How is mom?
好多了 Better.
我猜 I guess.
不能讓她戒煙 Can't get her to quit smoking.
她很虛弱 Well, she's fragile.
任何事 一點小事就會 Anything, even the smallest thing, could...
造成另一個事故 Create another... incident.
我付另一份租金 I'll pay the difference in rent.
嗯？ Hmm?
你認為怎麼樣？ Will you think about it?
-父親 -對了，我預約了 -Dad... -Also, I set up an appointment
一個職業規劃顧問給你 with a career counselor for you.
我辦公室會發郵件給你信息 My office will e-mail you the info.
父親 我知道你... 我知道... Dad, I know you're... I-i know...
你知道我怎麼了，托馬斯？ You know I'm what, Thomas?
我知道你只是想幫忙 I know you're just trying to help.
別搞砸了，好嗎？ Don't blow it off, okay?
-我不得不為她幫忙來見你 -好的 -I had to call in a favor for her to see you. -All right.
事實上她還會找別人幫忙 She actually has a waiting list.
你要和你父親對質嗎？ Are you gonna confront your father?
不，和他談話有困難 No. Trouble talking to him.
為什麼？ Why?
我認為他不那麼喜歡我 I don't thinkhe likes me that much.
到底你母親有什麼問題？ What exactly is wrong with your mother?
不清楚 她很抑鬱 情緒低落 I don't know.She's depressed, bipolar.
她有抑鬱癥 She's a depressive bipolar.
她來自一個破碎的家庭 所以... She came from a broken home, so...
當有任何事威脅到我們家庭 Whenever anything threatens our perfect family,
她會徹底崩潰 she completely unravels.
我不能告訴她 她會崩潰 I can't tell her.She'll be destroyed.
為什麼你不裝修一下這個地方？ Why don't you furnish this place, hmm?
我住在布魯克林 I live in Brooklyn.
你有兩個公寓？ You have two apartments?
我很富 I'm rich.
我他媽是貴族 I'm a fucking Duke.
也許他已經對我母親不忠好多年了 Or maybe he's...Been faithful all these years.
也許是她找上我父親的 我看她 Maybe she came on to him.I've seen her.
-我覺得她很誘惑人 -不，停下 -She's irresistible. I mean... -Uh, stop.
你想怎麼樣？ What do you want?
-我想我父親不在見這個女人 -不不不 -I want my father to stopseeing this woman. -No, no, no.
不，人生中 No, in life.
你的人生中 In your life.
你想要更多的錢？ You want more money?
你想要更多的尊重？ You want more respect?
你知道嗎？ You know?
你知道你想要什麼嗎？ What is it that you want?
想一想 Think about it.
仔細考慮下 Really think about it.
我想要更好 I want to be better.
-更好？ -恩 -Better? -Mm.
比誰更好？ Than what?
比他們 Than them.
在80年代，伊森是激動不已的 In the '80s,Ethan was intoxicated
在自由的紐約 by literary New York.
但是當他接受自己才華用盡後 But when he accepted that he lacked the talent
去組建了一個「虛構」的家庭 to create a fictional family,
他想他至少能組建一個真的家庭 he thought at leas the could create a real one.
年輕的托馬斯熱愛寫作 Young Thomas loved to write.
伊森不予理會 Ethan ignored this,
小心翼翼的養育他 摒棄趕出他對寫作的熱愛 wary of nurturing a life of rejections and evictions,
然而托馬斯也知道保守他自己的秘密 and Thomas learned to keep his stories to himself.
朱迪斯和她的兒子有著強烈的紐帶 The intensity of Judith's bond with her son
讓伊森感覺自己是個外人 left Ethan feeling like a stranger in his own home.
他拿工作來尋求逃避 He sought refuge in work,
直到他的出版社慢慢沒落 until publishing began its slow decline.
然後...喬安娜出現了 Then... came Johanna.
你知道私人偵探是按小時收費的嘛 You know, private detectives get paid by the hour.
只是等待 To just-just wait.
就像我們現在的做的一樣 To do exactly what we're doing right now.
我說監視需要兩個人嗎？ I mean, what is the difficulty in a stakeout?
我真的要去上課了 I really got to go to class.
別，等一下 好嗎？ No, just wait, all right?
他馬上出來了 He'll be out in a minute.
我必須要看看他是否還要見她 I have to see if he's gonna meet her again.
求你了，就等一會 Please, just wait.
好吧 Okay.
我的天，是她 Oh, my god, that's her.
那個女人 The other woman.
我過會聯繫你 I'll call you later.
等等，我們還要等你父親出來嗎？ Wait, are we waitingfor your dad?
我過會打給你 I'll call you later.
你的目的到底是什麼？ What is it, exactly,that you want to accomplish?
我想和她談談 I want to meet her.
然後告訴她停止見我的父親 And tell her to stop seeing my father.
她會害死我母親 She could kill my mother.
恩，那就去見她 Well, so do it.
我還沒有鼓起勇氣 I haven't built up the courage yet.
額 Mm.
所以你是跟蹤了她嗎？ So you stalk her, huh?
這個事不應該我處理 I shouldn't be dealing with this at all.
我應該躺在沙灘上 - I should be on a beach...
和蜜蜜一起 With Mimi...
裸著體 Naked...
在克羅地亞 In Croatia.
我們應該在一起 We should be together together.
「應該」是個危險的詞" Should" is a dangerous word.
我是認真的，老夥計 I'm serious, man.
如果不是為了我的母親 我不會在這 If it wasn't for my mother,i wouldn't be here
我不信 I don't buy it.
你不信什麼？ You don't buy what?
我不相信你只是為了你母親的健康 I don't buy that this is just about your mother's health.
你還想要得到更多 You want something more here.
更多什麼？ Something more what?
更具刺激性的 Provocative.
不好意思 Excuse me.
-打擾了 -怎麼了 -Excuse me. -Yes.
你可能不知道我是誰 Y-you don't know who I am.
不，我知道 Yes, I do.
你知道？ You do?
你是跟蹤我的男孩 You're the boy who follows me.
是的，但是我有理由的 Yeah, well,i have a good reason.
你還是伊森的兒子 You're also Ethan's son.
他的桌子上有你的照片 He keeps a picture of you on his desk.
你餓了嗎，托馬斯？ Are you hungry, Thomas?
在這個城市跟蹤一個人一定挺困難的 Following someone in this city has got to be very difficult.
這個地方很隱蔽 It's so easy to be anonymous here.
我跟蹤你的時候你發現了為什麼不說話？ Why didn't you say anything when I was following you?
你為什麼不和我說話？ Why didn't you say anything?
因為我當時不知道該怎麼做 Because I didn't know what I was gonna do.
-現在呢？ -知道了 -And do you now? -Yes.
是好事嗎？ Is it good?
-喬安娜 -喬安娜？ -Johanna. -Johanna?
是的，我叫喬安娜 Yeah, I'm Johanna.
好的，喬安娜你和我父親搞了多久了？ Okay, Johanna, how long you been fucking my father?
有必要這麼粗魯嗎？ Is that kind of vulgarity entirely necessary here?
怎麼樣說才不粗魯？ What kind of vulgarity would you prefer?
一年多一點 A little bit over a year.
你為什麼還要見他 他已經結婚了 Why are you even seeing him? He's married.
他是結婚了 He is married.
-你和他一起工作嗎 -偶爾 -Do you work with him? -Sometimes.
我是一個自由職業編輯 所以我的工作地點不定 I'm a freelance editor,so I work for all the houses.
你愛他嗎？ Do you love him?
你覺得什麼是愛，托馬斯 Define love, Thomas.
你真以為你能嫁給他？ Do you think that you're gonna marry him?
這就是你的計劃？從我母親手裏 Is that the plan? You think you're gonna steal him away
奪走他？ from my mother?
你怎麼知道你母親不會把他讓給我？ How do you know your motherisn't giving him to me?
這是什麼意思？ What's that supposed to mean?
我的意思是說，人有時並不知道自己在做什麼 I mean that people do things all the time without realizing.
你母親可能都沒意識到她把伊森給我了 Your mother may be giving me Ethan without comprehending it.
你可能都不知道你在做什麼？ I mean, you're doing something right now without realizing it.
是嗎？我在做什麼？ Yeah? And what am I doing?
你想和我做愛 You're trying to make love to me.
我想和你做愛？ I'm trying to make love to you?
你只是還沒意識到而已 You just don't realize it.
安迪·沃霍爾是個關係很親密的朋友 Andy warhol was a close, personal friend,
他把他的作品當禮物送給了我們 and he gave us that piece as a gift.
然而現在委員會想全要回去 And now this goddamn committee is going to take all that away.
母親沒關係的 Mom, it doesn't really matter.
這些人在切爾西是無足輕重的人 These people,these non-entities in Chelsea,
他們想偷走我的過去 they're trying to steal my past.
-他們想抹去我的回憶 -母親 -They're trying to erase my memories. -Mom.
我們會找到那幅作品的 We're gonna find the photo.
看看這亂的 Look at this mess.
我要抽支煙 I need a cigarette.
但是你父親說 But your father has declared
我不能在屋裏抽煙，所以 I'm no longer allowed to smoke in the house, so...
好的，我會待在這繼續找 -All right, well, I'll stay here and keep searching.
托馬斯，我想抽煙的同時和你談談 Thomas, I want to smoke and talk to you at the same time.
-這樣會更好 -好的 -It makes the cigarette better. -Okay.
謝謝你 Thank you.
這就是個永恆的循環 It's just this perpetual cycle
期待與失望之間週而復始 of expectations and disappointments.
你知道嗎？ You know?
世界上最長的距離 The farthest distance in the world
就是夢想和現實的距離 is between how it is and how you thought it was gonna be.
不要忘記這點 Don't forget that.
我不會忘 I won't.
你是我的希望，托馬斯 You're my light, Thomas.
知道嗎？ You know?
我不知道沒了你我會怎麼樣 I don't know what I'd do without you.
這是藥的問題 It's this klonopin.
-讓我變得這麼多愁善感 -沒事的 -Makes me so fucking emotional. -You're fine.
我要你不要在和我父親見面 I want you to stop seeing my father.
哦，你好，托馬斯 Oh, hello, Thomas.
你是個美麗的女人 Look, you're a very beautiful woman.
這個城市男人你都可以得到 You can get any man you want in this city.
你能做的我的男人嗎？ Could I get you?
什麼？ --What?
你說這個城市的男人我都能得到 You said I can get any man in this city.
所你我問你，我能得到你嗎？ So I'm asking, could I get you?
那又出現了一個問題 Which actually begs another question, really.
你是男人嗎？ Are you a man?
我母親處於脆弱的狀態 My mother's in a fragile state.
這個婚外情會把她推到崩潰邊緣 This affair could put her over the top.
-我有什麼責任對你母親負責？-因為你搞上了 -How am I responsible for your mother? -Because you're fucking
-我的父親 -好的，我們都知道這是不成熟的想法 -my father. -Okay, we know that crudeness doesn't
-男人一點 -不要再見他了 -make one a man. -Stop seeing him.
不要命令我 Nor do demands.
我不想變成熟 I'm not trying to be a man.
更不想和你做愛 I'm not trying to make love to you.
我只想幫助我的母親 I'm trying to save my mother.
你靠得太近了 You're getting closer.
喬安娜不是被作家養大 Johanna wasn't raised by writers.
她的父親是一個銀行家 She was raised by bankers.
但這兩個職業都需要想像力 But the lingua franca of both is fiction.
當伊森浮現出離開妻子的想法時 When Ethan floated the idea of leaving his wife,
她以為那只是說說而已 she assumed it was just talk.
對她來說是個驚喜，他的意見讓她失去了平衡 But to her surprise,his suggestion unbalanced her.
她非常高興,她突然感覺到對愛的渴望 Instead of feeling flattered,she felt suddenly needy.
托馬斯的關懷正是她非常需要的 Thomas's attention was the perfect remedy
並擾亂了她堅定的信心 to her rattled confidence.
這些對喬安娜的想像 Those visions of Johanna.
她不像任何人，我從未見過這種人 She's not like anyone I've ever met.
他說我想和她做愛 She said I was trying to make love to her.
哦，那你想嗎？ Oh. Were you?
不，我想讓她別再見我父親 No, I want her to stop seeing my father.
你是不是和你父親一樣？ Isn't that between you and your father?
你為什麼想和她有聯繫？ Why-why would you want to make contact with her?
在我看來她和你的家庭問題沒關係 She's an outsider to what seems to me to be a family issue.
嘗嘗這個 Eat that.
-怎麼樣 -味道不錯 -Uh-huh. -It's good.
那是什麼？ What was it?
你不會想知道 You don't want to know.
所以你的意思是我喜歡和她打交道？ So what are you saying, that...I like dealing with her?
對，這就是我的意思 Uh-huh. That's precisely what I'm saying.
並且我想和她做愛 And that I want to make love to her.
你想和他做愛嗎？ Would you like to make love to her?
不 No.
你這問的什麼問題？ What kind of a question is that?
-太噁心了 -怎麼噁心了？ -It's sick. -How is that sick?
就是噁心 It's sick.
她是一個美麗的女人 She's a beautiful woman.
-所以呢？-名字又好聽 -So? -Her name is Johanna.
她和我父親搞上了 She's sleeping with my father.
你想和喬安娜做愛嗎？ Would you like to make love to Johanna?
你能信任我一點嗎？ Will you give me some credit, please?
-這次談話太不正經了 -先回答我的問題 -This conversation's perverse. -Just ans-answer the question.
-能相信我嗎 -不要被你認為的 -Give me some credit. -Stop drowning yourself
道德淹沒了 in what you think is moral.
你想上喬安娜 You want to fuck Johanna.
是的，我想 Yes. I would.
你說你的人生是無聊的 And you said your life was boring.
你知道今天沒有你我會怎麼樣 I couldn't have handled today without you.
你知道嗎 我今天受了三次打擊都來自洗手間 You know, I got hit on three times coming from the bathroom.
並且我非常確定它們都結婚了 And I'm pretty sure they were all married.
好事是我父親今天不在這 Then it's a good thing my father isn't here.
-一點也不好笑 -哦，不 - That's not funny. - Oh, no.
新郎來了 Groom's coming.
我的兄弟 It's my ninja.
-我該死的好兄弟 -霍華德 -It's my motherfucking ninja. -Howard.
-恭喜啊，兄弟 -謝了 -Congratulations, man. -Thanks, man.
這是蜜蜜 Hey, this is Mimi.
-霍華德 -很高興認識你 -恭喜 -Howard. -Nice to meet you. Listen. -Congrats.
我每天都在河濱公園跑步 I've been running through riverside park every day,
9英里,真提神 nine miles,murdering sobriety.
事實上，我最近經常見到你母親 I've seen a lot of your mother lately, actually.
-我母親？-是，我不清楚她在幹嘛 -My mother? -Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
她每天都在同一個長椅上看書 She's, uh, always on the same bench reading a book.
那是歐文 歐文！ That's irwin. Irwin!
你們一定要見見歐文·桑德斯 You guys got to meet irwin Sanders.
他是紐約尼克隊的股東之一 He's buying the Knicks.
霍華德 -嗨 Howard. -Hey.
結婚什麼感覺？ How does it feel to be married?
-額，做愛做夠了-噢 -Well, sex already sucks. -Ah.
開玩笑的啦 Kidding. Kind of.
您讓我想起了康泰·納仕 Uh, Conde Nast took me back, actually,
也許我可以找個時間採訪您一下？ so, uh, maybe I could get an interview at some point?
用空的話 Maybe.
霍華德，這是我的朋友，喬安娜 Um, Howard, this is my friend, Johanna.
-嗨 -恭喜啦 -Hi. -Congratulations.
很高興認識你 謝謝你 這是托馬斯 Nice to meet you. Thanks. This is Thomas.
-嗨喬安娜 -我是蜜蜜 - Hi. -Johanna. - Mimi.
嗨 Hi.
你太明顯了 You're being really obvious.
我沒有和歐文約會 I'm not dating irwin.
不過也不關你的事 It's none of your business.
我也不用和你解釋 I don't have to explain myself to you,
但是 but nonetheless...
他是一個很好的朋友 He's a very good friend.
你女朋友呢？ Where's your girlfriend?
她不是我女友 She's not.
只是朋友關係 She's just a friend.
哦，你最好別讓她聽見 Oh, you shouldn't let her do that to you.
他比你大三十歲 He's 30 years older than you.
他是億萬富翁 He's a billionaire.
我又不傻 I'm not stupid.
你是真的傻，托馬斯 You are quite stupid, Thomas.
你根本不知道這個社會怎麼運轉 And you've got no idea how the world works.
事實上他已經不是億萬富翁了 And, actually, he's not a billionaire anymore,
因為南希得到了他一半的財產 because Nancy got half of everything.
這根本不重要 Doesn't really matter.
不，這很重要 No, it doesn't.
你看上去氣色不錯 You look nice.
什麼？ What?
你今天很帥氣 You look very nice.
穿著西服 In a suit.
我不認為你是個傻孩子 I don't really think you're stupid.
只是 Just...
年輕又迷茫 Confused and... young.
歐文也許在找你了 Irwin's probably looking for you.
我確定他今晚已經包下你了 I'm sure he paid for the whole night.
去你的，真的 Oh, fuck you, really.
喂 Hey.
-第一，你說我是來賣的？-我 -So, first of all--hooker comments? -I know.
-對不起 -你竟然說我是個妓女？ -I'm sorry. -You actually resorted to hooker comments?
對不起 我道歉 I'm sorry. I apologize.
好，第二，歐文是個同性戀 Okay, second of all,irwin's gay.
他喜歡男的好嗎？ Okay? He loves men.
事實上他只愛一個男人 In fact, he loves one man in particular,
這個男人的名字叫比利·阿納爾迪，他是一個 a man named Billy arnaldi, who happens to be
了不起的畫商，一個要好的朋友 an incredible art dealer and one of my closest friends.
所以歐文不願意出櫃，因為工作原因 So irwin doesn't want to come out, for business reasons,
這是他的權力 which is his prerogative,
並且我喜歡和他共事 and I come to events like this with him.
我不是個高級妓女 他也不是一個色狼 I'm not a glorified hooker. He's not a sugar daddy.
我是他的臉面 I'm his beard.
你真的不懂這個社會 You really don't know how the world works.
你真天真，托馬斯 你只不過是個孩子 You're an innocent, Thomas.You're a child.
我知道有些事 I know some things.
-是嗎？ -恩 -Oh, yeah? -Mm.
什麼？ Like what?
我知道你是怎麼 How it went down.
和我爸搞在一起的 You and my dad, I know.
-真的嗎？-恩 -Do you? -Mm.
好的 托馬斯 大偵探 Okay, Thomas, Mr. Ace sleuth,
我想聽聽 I want to hear it.
你注意到他喜歡提前到辦公室 You noticed that he liked to come in early.
非常早，早上7點鐘 Really early, like, what, 7:00 in the morning?
所以你也開始早去 So you started coming in then, too.
你單獨接近他 You isolate and contain.
告訴他你睡眠不好 Told him it was because you don't sleep well,
做噩夢，他們總是在黎明之前叫醒你 that the bad dreams, they shake you awake before daylight.
早上，你在辦公室放了一首音樂 In the mornings, you put on music in your office.
一天勃拉姆斯的，接著放臭大先生，因為你知道 Brahms one day, biggie smalls the next, because, you know,
你不可能都放進盒子裏 你刺激他各種感官 you can't be put into a box; You attack all the senses.
你那標誌的刺激性的香水味 You went a little aggressive on your signature scent,
強烈的香草味 strong on the vanilla.
你故意提到一個男朋友 抱怨是個糟糕的約會 You mentioned a boyfriend, then complained of a bad date.
你迷惑他 讓他疑惑 You confuse him, make him wonder.
性愛 The sex.
哦，性愛 Ooh, the sex.
那次性愛你們都沒想到 The sex surprised you both.
他只是吃完飯送你回家 He was just walking you home after dinner.
老天，你真不是一般女人 I mean, Jesus, you're not the other woman,
他不是個出軌的丈夫 "我們做的 he's not a cheating husband."No, this isn't something
不算什麼，一些事注定會發生」 that we did, that is something that happened to us."
但能怎樣？這能叫做愛情嗎？ But what? Could it be love?
當然沒人承認 Well, nobody wants to acknowledge that
這只是個遊戲，轉瞬即逝 so soon in the game, but the stars are crossed
並且有人會受傷... and people are gonna get hurt and...
我們做了一件錯事，伊森 "We've done a bad,bad thing, Ethan,"
是吧，一定是，對嗎？ so, fuck, it must be, right?
這扯淡的一切只是你的算計和操縱 All of it was just bullshit-- calculated and manipulated--
從第一句關於噩夢的謊言開始 from that first lie about your bad dreams.
我可以非常確定 'Cause I'm-I'm... I'm pretty sure...
你睡眠一定很好，像個嬰兒 That you sleep like a baby.
你講的睡前故事一定很好 You are quite the storytell...
你去哪了？ Where have you been?
-洗手間，喝得太多了 - Bathroom. Drank too much.
我要打斷一下，因為 I have to interrupt now, because, uh...
我必須要回家了 I have to go home.
我是個糟糕的叔叔 I'm uncle buster.
-我們離開這吧 -我是凱西父親的兄弟 -Let's get out of here. -I'm Casey's father's brother.
他們還沒切蛋糕呢 They haven't even cut the cake.
別管蛋糕了，走吧 Fuck the cake. Let's go.
什麼？ What?
-走吧 -沃爾特不在這 - Come on. - Walter's not here
-因為 -你身上有香草味 -because... -You smell like vanilla.
他只能維持兩到五年 ...he's doing two to five.
這不是秘密 It's no secret.
你們都知道 As you all know,
兩到五年是不錯的了 two to five for doing the right thing,
為了相信詩歌之章 for believing in the poetry of the constitution.
我有一些想法 I have only a few thoughts.
戲劇 Drama.
婚姻是浪漫的戲劇 The dramatics of marital romance,
兩人生活在一起 staying together.
就像吉卜賽人告訴我的一樣 Like the gypsy told me,
詩句寫在生命線 the poems written in life lines
是無法確定的 are never guaranteed.
他們被分開了 They get busted up.
明天又是新的詩篇 Tomorrow begins new poetry.
又一種浪漫會接著爆發 Another romance that will explode from time to time.
已婚人士的詩歌就像北極光 Poetry of married people like the Aurora borealis.
像天上的散落星星一樣 Strewn like stars in the sky,
開始你戲劇樣的人生 and the drama of your lives begins.
一章又一章 {\fs36\fn微软雅黑 Chapter after chapter.
故事 Stories.
書籍 Books.
進化，我知道終會來臨 Revolutions, as I know, will come.
我見過許多 I've seen many.
經歷過許多 Lived through them.
他們在最意想不到的地方演奏 They play in the least expected places,
所以準備好吧 so get ready.
凱西理解霍華德 Casey understands Howard.
霍華德懂凱西 Howard... knows Casey.
不 No.
不，還沒有 No, not yet.
這總是神秘的 There's always mystery.
你們知道的 You both know that.
你們都知道這不是完美的 You both know it isn't perfect.
令人激動的 Excitement,
信任和掙扎 trust and struggle,
未知秘密會繼續讓我們在一起 and the unknown privacies that keep us together.
拚命地掙扎 Glue of struggle.
我舉起酒杯 I raise my glass.
我們踐踏和粉碎了易碎的玻璃 The fragile glass we stomped on and shattered
將永遠回到一起 and will forever be putting back together,
就像我們兒時拼的拼圖 like the puzzles we first worked as children,
學會耐心 learning to be patient,
尋找適合的那一塊 searching for what fits.
好多的拼圖 So many puzzles.
好多的書籍 So many books in this room.
我的話太多了 And I talk too much.
我們跳舞吧 Let's dance.
我要去見那個職業生涯顧問了 So I have to go to this career counselor.
我父親為我預約的 Uh, my father set up the appointment.
你為什麼不從事新聞工作 Why don't you go into journalism?
你在高中跑新聞 You ran the high school newspaper.
不了，我現在對那個不感興趣了 No, that doesn't interest me anymore.
你在大學還贏得了最佳廣告獎 And you won that advertising prize in college.
-你可以做那個 - 你怎麼知道這些 -You could do that. -Uh, how do you know all this
關於我的事?怎麼知道這麼多? about me, huh? How do you know all this?
-我知道一切，關於你的一切 - 真的？ -I know everything. Everything about you. -You do?
-年鑒編輯委員會 -還有呢 -Okay, um, yearbook committee. -Uh-huh.
- 辯論社團的董事 -是的 -President of the debate club. -Yeah.
高中的新聞藝術編輯 Arts editor of the high school newspaper.
網球隊的二號選手 Second single on the tennis team.
非常令人敬佩,托馬斯 Very impressive, Thomas.
啊 Huh.
你父親的桌子上全是你的獎盃 Your father has all your awards on his desk.
太糟了 It's so awful.
-哦，這太尷尬了 - Oh, that's awkward.
去他的媽的職業顧問 Fuck the career counselor.
對，有一個事你絕對不知道 All right, here's something you don't know.
沒人知道 That nobody knows.
好的 Okay.
我想當個作家 I wanted to write.
-是嗎 - 是的 -Huh. -Hmm.
我年輕的時候什麼都寫 I used to write all these things when I was younger.
我的狗狗叼給我一堆的信件從 A bunch of letters from my dog to, like,
從郵遞員和獸醫那 the mailman and the vet.
最後我 And eventually I...
想出了個散文集叫做 Came up with a collection of essays called
「大麻對一切」 "Mary Jane vs. Everything."
我當時非常自豪 Which I was incredibly proud of.
然後我給我的父親看 And, you know, i show 'em to my dad.
伊森說什麼？ What did Ethan say?
「湊合」 "Serviceable."
真傷人 Ouch.
是的「湊合」 Yeah. "Serviceable."
這是他當時的原話 That was his exact word.
沒說別的，就說了湊合 Nothing special, just serviceable.
他看了之後非常生氣 He seemed pretty angry after reading them, though.
我想讀一讀它 Well, I want to read them.
-你想嗎？-是的 -You do? -Yeah.
- 你不能 -為什麼？ -You can't. -Why not?
我把他扔了 'Cause I threw 'em out.
噢，那太可惜了 Oh, that's so sad.
-又傷心又孤獨 -恩 -That's so sad and lonely. -Mm.
這不錯 That's good.
真的嗎？ Really?
你父親怎麼評價的？ Yeah. What word did your father use?
「湊合」 "Serviceable."
我不同意 I disagree.
我認為你很有才華 I think you've got talent.
但是你父親是出版人而我只是 But your father's a publisher and I'm just some...
一個陌生鄰居，所以只能湊合了，對吧？ Strange neighbor, so you're gonna go with serviceable, huh?
-喬安娜想讀讀 -哦，對了 -Johanna wanted to read 'em. -Oh, right.
但我不知道我是否能 But I don't know if I could...
這些對喬安娜的想像 Those visions of Johanna.
我在想她 I think about her...
無時無刻 ...all the time.
也許這就是愛 Maybe it's love.
額 Uh...
愛很難做出決定 Love is hard to determine.
人們認為他們得到了愛情 Uh, people think they're in love,
然而卻完全不同 and it's something completely different.
熱戀 You know, infatuation,
糾正年輕時犯的錯誤 the righting of childhood wrongs,
你知道的，友誼，恩 you know, companionship. Um...
你戀愛過嗎？ Have you ever been in love?
恩，一次 Yeah. Once.
她是誰？ Who was she?
哦 Oh...
印象中，她是這樣的女人 She was this woman I knew.
她被別人搶走了，一個好朋友 She was taken by someone else, a dear friend.
我們有深厚的聯繫,但她是他的女人 We had a profound connection, but she was his girl.
一團糟 It was a mess.
你怎麼做的 So what did you do?
哦，我離開了犯罪現場 Oh, I left the scene of the crime.
你跑了？ You ran away?
額，在那個時代，我稱做它為冒險 Uh, well, at the time, i called it an adventure.
但是事後的領悟變成了別的 But hindsight turned it into something else,
那也避免不了是事後的領悟 which is what hindsight inevitably does.
是的，我要走了 Yeah, I ran away.
我將要拿著這個 I'm gonna take this.
離開你和你的感情 Leave you with your heart on.
和我硬了的？ With my hard-on?
心，你的感情 Heart. Your heart on.
你知道嗎，可能事後會感覺到 You know what, maybe, in hindsight,
我會對喬安娜產生內疚，但是不是現在 I'll feel guilty about Johanna, but right now I don't.
現在一切還好 It's not cut or dry.
恭喜你，托馬斯 Congratulations, Thomas.
你的世界會變得有承上啟下 Your world is becoming contextual.
你他媽到底是誰？ Who the fuck are you?
你好父親 Hey, dad.
怎麼了？ What's up?
坐下 Sit down.
一起都好嗎？ Is everything all right?
母親還好嗎？ Is mom okay?
先坐，托馬斯 Sit down, Thomas.
你有什麼想告訴我的嗎? Is there anything you want to tell me?
沒 No.
沒有 No, nothing.
恩 有任何我需要知道的事嗎？ Mm-hmm. Anything I should know?
沒有 No.
托馬斯... Thomas...
你沒去職業顧問咨詢 You blew off the career counselor.
嗯？ Hmm?
我跟你說了那個有多難預約 I told you how hard it was to get that appointment,
然後你就沒去？ and then you just don't show up?
-連去都不去 -對 -Whoosh. Gone. -Right.
恩 Um, um...
我應該告訴你的 I should've called.
-恩，你應該聯繫我，-對不起 -Mm-hmm, you should've called. -I'm sorry.
對不起，我也對不起 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, too.
來這工作吧 Come work here.
恩？在這工作 --Hmm? Work here.
你喜歡讀書 You like to read.
我很牴觸你在這工作 I've been conflicted about giving you a job here--
用親戚關係，其他的閒話，去他的 nepotism and all that bullshit-- but screw it.
你可以從初級編輯開始 You can start under the junior editors,
學點東西 you know, learn something.
-不用了，謝謝 -為什麼？ -No, thank you. -Why not?
學點東西有什麼不好 I mean,what's wrong with learning
-出版商業？-沒什麼 -the publishing business? -Nothing.
挺好的，只是 It's fine. It's just it's...
湊合 Serviceable.
W.F.? W.F.?
我要拿回我的散文了 I just want to get my essays back.
嘿 Hey.
紐約唯一活著的男孩 朱利安·斯蒂爾著
托馬斯 Thomas.
我在你的公寓裏 I was in your apartment.
你是朱利安·斯蒂爾 You're Julian stellars.
-恩 我的筆名 - Mm, my nom de plume.
你出版了12本書 You've had 12 books published.
你的影響力很大 You don't have much mass appeal,
但你並不在意 but you don't seem to mind.
很難發現你的照片 Hard to find a picture of you anywhere.
你是個酒鬼，大多時間都在 You're an alcoholicwho spends most afternoons
布魯克林喝酒 drinking in the Brooklyn inn.
你也許是我唯一見過 And you're probably the only person that I've met
真真正正的癮君子 that's actually, actually been to an opium den.
-我還上谷歌 -恩 -And I've been googled. -Mm-hmm.
我沒讀 I didn't read it.
你的新手稿 Your new manuscript.
好的，托馬斯我很感謝 Well, Thomas, i appreciate that.
所以 So, um...
當你說我有才華時 ...when you said i had talent...
是專業的看法 It was a professional opinion.
我不懂，我 I don't know, man. I...
你的閱歷豐富 You've experienced the world.
我只生活在紐約 I just live here in New York.
紐約就是一個小的世界 New York is the world.
我生命中還沒經歷過什麼 I haven't done much with my life.
你和你父親的情婦做愛 You've had sex with your father's mistress.
我說這就很了不起 I'd say that's something.
我是那個紐約唯一的男孩嗎？ Am I the only living boy in New York?
是的 You are.
嘿，我在你公寓外 Hey, I was outside your apartment.
你不在 You're not there.
我把散文帶來了想給你看看 I brought the essays. I wanted to show you.
你和她睡了嗎？ Did you sleep with her?
和誰？ With who?
喬安娜？ Johanna?
你為什麼這麼問？ Why would you ask that?
他們和我們一樣快速離開了婚禮 They left the wedding as quickly as we did.
也許我沒注意，但是不我蠢 I may be oblivious, but I'm not stupid.
你關心什麼？ Why do you care?
-我就是關心 -為什麼？ -I just do. -Why?
托馬斯 Thomas.
-你吃醋了嗎?-不 -Are you jealous? -No.
-你確定？-托馬斯 -You sure? -Thomas.
-我覺得你吃醋了-你和她上床了嗎？ -I think you're jealous. -Did you sleep with her?
她是我父親的情婦 She's my father's mistress.
你認為我會那樣做？ You think that I would do that?
不會 No.
謝謝你 Thank you.
你真好 You're sweet.
你不像他們 You're not like them.
-誰？-其他人 -Like who? -This city.
我要你不要和他見面了 I want you to stop seeing him.
行了，我已經忍不了了 --Come on, I'm putting my foot down.
你不能命令我，托馬斯 You don't get to tell me what to do, Thomas.
我不管你能不能忍受 I don't care if your foot's down or up.
為什麼？你為什麼事都不管？ Why? 'Cause you don't care about anything?
-什麼？-顯然你什麼事都不關心 -What? -You obviously don't care about anything at all.
哦，所以我是個虛無主義了，是嗎？ Oh, so I'm a nihilist now, am I?
我一點也不瞭解你 I don't know anything about you.
你在哪長大？ Where'd you grow up?
布魯克林，托馬斯 這就是我口音的原因 Brooklyn, Thomas. That's why I have this accent.
你愛運動嗎？ Did you play sports?
不 No.
第一次性愛是什麼時候？ When did you first have sex?
我的天，我們又要聊童年了嗎？ Oh, my god, we're gonna talk about my childhood now?
是啊，我想瞭解你 Yeah. I want to know you.
你到底在哪長大？ Where'd you grow up?
我在倫敦長大 I grew up in London.
哪個地方？ Which part?
貝爾塞斯公園 Belsize park.
然後去了基爾伯恩 And then kilburn.
為什麼要搬走？ Why the move?
因為基爾伯恩更加真實 Because kilburn's so much more real.
你父親是幹什麼？ What'd your dad do?
他開槍自殺了 He put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.
對不起 I'm sorry.
我不知道 I didn't know.
為什麼要和我睡覺？ Why do you sleep with me?
因為我喜歡你 Because I like you.
你喜歡我什麼？ What do you like about me?
你的天真 Your innocence.
你曾經純真過嗎？ Were you ever innocent?
我不記得了 I forgot.
來嘛，和我說說 Come on. Tell me.
我想知道你純潔的一面 I want to know about when you were innocent.
-為什麼？-因為我喜歡這個主意 -Why? -Because I like the idea of it.
如果你喜歡純真的人為啥要找我？ If you want someone so pure, why are you with me?
因為我在乎你 Because I care about you.
你在乎我嗎？ Do you care about me?
我不關心任何人，還記得嗎？ I don't care about anyone, remember?
事實上，他們父子她都很關心 But the truth was she cared about them both.
當她意識到之後 And that's when she knew
這些破事只會變得更糟 this mess would only get worse.
她先和伊森分開 She had to make a clean break, starting with Ethan.
她沒有預料到的是 What she didn't anticipate was
他太沉浸在過去之中了 he'd surrendered too much of his past
而放棄了未來 to give up on his future.
他們都搬到了洛杉磯 They're all moving to, uh, Los Angeles.
紐約，我們成為了... New York, we're becoming...
你認為他愛上了她嗎？ Do you think he's in love with her?
這必須停下 This has to stop.
額，你和你的父親 Eh, you and your father,
受到了同樣問題的困擾 you suffer from the same disease.
喬安娜 Johanna.
"喬安娜的美貌征服了我的心" "Visions of Johanna conquer my mind."
-恩 -你為什麼要寫關於我的故事 -Mm. -Why are you writing about me?
這就是我的職業 That's what I do.
我記錄我認識的人然後加以修飾 I write about people I know and then give it a thin veil.
但是為什麼是我？ But why me?
聽我說 Look, I...
我住公寓是為了離開我的房子 I got the apartment to get out of the house
去寫一個完全不同的故事 and write a completely different story.
沒有什麼偶然的，知道嗎？ It just, it didn't come across, you know?
-我做的事呢 -啊 -And mine did. -Um...
就像其他美好的事 都是一段意外開始的 And like everything good, it happened by accident.
我遇見了你，我現在寫了118頁了 I met you. Now I got 118 pages.
我父親的出版社 My father's publishing house,
他們明天會開一個週年派對 they're throwing an anniversary party tomorrow.
你應該去看看 You should come.
不了 No.
你聽說那麼多人，但是從未見過他們 You've heard all about these people, but you never met 'em.
對你的書也有好處 Be good for the book.
哈 Huh.
找個窗戶，跳下去 Find a window. Pounce.
跳下去 Pounce.
我和尼克分手了 I broke up with Nick.
是嗎？ Did you?
你應該很興奮才對 You're supposed to be more excited than that.
嘿 Hey.
感謝你的到來 Thanks for coming.
派對很棒 It's a great party.
是的，一直都這樣 Yeah. It always is.
看，我母親和蜜蜜 Look. That's my mother and Mimi.
她很漂亮 She's beautiful.
恩，我都告訴你了 Mm. I told you she was.
我說的是你母親 I was talking about your mother.
哦 Huh.
太棒了 It's amazing.
非常棒，但是我認為你可以 It is amazing, but I think you could...
額，對不起 Uh, sorry.
我給你介紹個人認識 I want you to come meet someone.
哦！我們要見誰？ Oh! Who are we meeting?
-我們要去見我的新朋友 -你的新朋友 -We're meeting my new friend. -Your new friend.
-好的，一會回來 -失陪一下，過會見 -All right, I'll be back. -Sorry. See you later.
我馬上回來 I'll be back.
他剛才在這呢 He was just here.
是嗎？ He was?
好吧，以後有空再說 Oh, well, I'll meet him later.
-他剛剛還在這 -哦，戴安娜在那 -Come on. He was just here. -Oh, there's Diana.
「我抬頭看了看這座城市高樓的窗 "I have looked down upon the city from high windows.
多麼的宏偉 "It is then that the great buildings
失去了真實並呈現出一股魔力 "lose reality and take on their magical powers.
一塊塊的激情被分割並印在蒼穹上 "Squares and squares of flame set and cut into the ether.
這是我們的詩歌，因為」 Here's our poetry, for..."
「因為我們把星星拉了下來用我們自己方式」 "For we have pulled down the stars to our will."
「用我們自己方式」 "To our will."
埃茲拉·龐德 Ezra pound.
美國詩人和文學評論家，意象派詩歌運動的重要代表人物
你一定是，喬安娜 Johanna, I'm assuming.
我們見過面嗎？ We haven't met, have we?
沒有，但是我知道你 No, but I know you very well.
我還知道你和他相處的很好 And I know that you're having your fun
他的年少和單純 and that he's young and easy.
但是你還沒面對過他的傷疤 But you'll have me to deal with if he scars.
我不喜歡這次陌生的談話 I don't like strange conversations...
所以我要離開了 So I'm gonna walk away now.
失陪一下 I'll be back in a second.
嘿 Hey.
額 Uh...
怎麼了？ What?
我覺得我們不應該繼續見面了 I really think we should stop seeing each other.
-托馬斯 -什麼？ -Thomas. -What?
那太糟糕了 It looks bad. Come on.
我曾與你父親斷絕關係 I was ending it with your father as well.
不是因為我不關心他 And not because i didn't care for him.
事實上我很關係他，非常關心 I actually really do. I care for him very much.
但是，托馬斯，問題是他求婚了 But, Thomas, the thing is he proposed.
什麼？ What?
我也答應了 And I said yes.
不，不 No. No.
-不不 -別，我不想我們關係破裂 -No, no. -Please, I don't want this to be disruptive.
-破裂？他不會離開她的 -停下 停下 -Disruptive? He's not gonna leave her. -Stop, stop, stop.
我不會讓它發生的 I'm not gonna let that happen.
不，這樣對大家都好 No, this is the best thing for everybody.
-對誰？-大家 -For who? -For everybody.
朱迪斯會輕鬆很多 Judith's gonna be so much better off.
她不用再受煎熬了 She won't be suffering anymore
受壓於婚姻的破裂 under the weight of a dead marriage.
他只會經歷...他只會經歷 He's going through a cri... He's just going through
一個該死的危機，只會如此 a fucking crisis, that's all this is.
沒事，這件事沒必要弄得這麼複雜 Come on, this doesn't have to be this difficult.
每個人都會得到想要的 Please, everybody can win here.
上帝創造你的美麗時犯了個錯誤 God made a mistake when he made you beautiful.
錯誤是她嫁給你的父親 Well, god's mistake is marrying your father.
不是她的錯 Not yet she isn't.
我能問個問題嗎？ Look, can I just ask you one thing?
如果這個事敗露了，誰受到傷害最大 If any of this comes out, who do you think's gonna get hurt?
不是我 It's not me.
也不是伊森 --It's not Ethan.
我們都知道現實是什麼樣，你卻不懂 We both know how to land on our feet. And it's not you.
-你還年輕 -是，是 -You're so young. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
這只會毀掉一個人 There's one person... one person who will be destroyed,
我們都知道是誰 and we both know who that is.
你認為會發生什麼？ What do you think's gonna happen?
你認為你能結婚，你認為你 You think you can get married, you think you can have
之後可以獲得第二個家庭並幸福的生活 the obligatory second family and live happily ever after
在你夢裏？ in your dream world?
顯然是不可能的 Well, obviously that can't happen.
那應該怎麼樣? What is that supposed to mean?
-等下，那會怎麼樣？-嘿 -Wait, what is that supposed to mean? -Hey.
你什麼意思？ What is it supposed to mean?
停下 Stop it.
-停下，托馬斯，不要 -我要告訴他一切 -Stop it, Thomas. Come on. -I'm gonna tell him everything.
-我要告訴他，別勸我 -托馬斯 -I'm gonna tell him. Don't... -Thomas.
托馬斯 Thomas!
托馬斯，你在幹嘛？ Thomas, what are you doing?
下雨了 It's raining.
恩 Um...
好的 Okay.
我... I...
我和尼克分手了 I broke up with Nick...
我要去克羅地亞了 Because I got into Croatia.
我想你和我一起去 And I want you to come with me.
我睡了喬安娜 I slept with Johanna.
不 No.
你不是那樣的人 You're not like that.
-我想我愛上她了 -不 -And I thought that I was in love with her. -Mm-mm.
你很棒 You're good.
不，蜜蜜我配不上你 No, Mimi, I'm not good.
蜜蜜 Mimi!
對不起 I'm sorry.
你和其他人一樣 You are just like them.
他們贏了，托馬斯 They won, Thomas.
天哪，他們讓你枯竭了 God, they've fucking bankrupted you.
-嘿 -托馬斯，你昨天晚上在著嗎？ -Hey. -Thomas! Did you spend last night here?
是的 Yeah.
這是kenta一年中最好的派對了 Well, that was the best party that kenta has thrown in years.
每個人都很盡興，不只是我們的朋友 Everybody was drunk-- and not just our alcoholic friends,
是每個人 but everybody.
-你感覺昨晚怎麼樣？ - Why did you spend the night?
不知道 I don't know.
我只是想回家 I just... wanted to come home.
你看起來很沮喪 Are you upset?
跟我說說 Tell me about it.
什麼？ What?
是關於那個女孩嗎？ Is it about a girl?
我是你的母親，你可以 And I'm your mother, so...
事情變得很糟糕，並且 Things have gotten messy, and...
我想脫離困境 I want to bail.
但是我不能 But I can't.
你知道嗎 Well, then you know.
唯一的方法是面對困難 The only way out... is through.
對吧？ Right?
父親去哪了？ Where's dad?
他一早走了 He left early.
他說他要早去辦公室拿點文件 He said he had to go to the office and get some files.
他似乎試圖得到... He seems to have gotten over what a...
托馬斯 Thomas?
-父親？-托馬斯 -Dad? -Thomas. Huh.
-我們需要談談 -恩 -We need to talk. -Mm-hmm.
有件事 There are... There are some things
-有件事你可能不知道 -托馬斯不要 -that you don't know that... -Thomas, don't.
-不要 -有件事你需要知道 -Don't. -...That you need to know.
喬安娜 Johanna.
你們兩認識？ You two know each other?
是的 Yeah.
什麼？ What?
伊森，是這樣的 Well, Ethan, the thing is, is that...
他跟蹤過我 He followed me.
你跟蹤過她？ You followed her?
這不是全部 That's not all I did.
對不起 I'm sorry, I...
我沒聽明白 I don't understand.
我們一起睡過 We slept together.
而且不止一次 And not just once.
什麼？ What?
你這個小雜種 You slick little shit, you!
-我對你這麼好 -冷靜點 -I did right by you! -No, relax!
-你根本不知道！ -放鬆點！ -You have no idea! -Relax!
你根本不懂！ You have no idea!
噢 Oh.
我那麼愛你 I deserve you.
對不起 --I'm sorry.
我們都需要道歉，托馬斯 We're all sorry, Thomas.
我真的愛他 I really do love him.
他也對你很好 And he did right by you.
比你知道的多 More than you know.
再見了，托馬斯 Good-bye, Thomas.
148號·布魯克林客棧·霍伊特街
你喝完了？ Did you finish it?
是的 I did.
告訴我 Tell me about it.
跟我講講 "紐約唯一活著的男孩" Tell me about "the only living boy in New York."
恩，好的 Uh, well...
關於三個人，藝術家 It's about three people-- artists...
他們是好朋友 And great friends.
其中一個是美麗的年輕女孩 One of them is a beautiful young girl.
另外兩個 The other two...
一個很有才華，一個沒有 One artist has talent, the other doesn't.
不管他多努力 You know, no matter how hard he tries,
不管他多想成功 and no matter how badly he wants it,
他就是... he just...
他沒有得到上天的眷顧 Well, he wasn't kissed by god in that way.
但是他擁有那個女孩 But he has the girl.
是的，他們結婚了 Yes. And they're married,
開始計劃成立一個家庭 and they plan to start a family.
只有一個小問題 Only they have a little problem.
他不能生育 He's infertile.
他尋求那個有才華的朋友來幫忙？ And they ask their talented friend for help?
是的，你很有寫書的天賦，托馬斯 Yeah, you have a knack for a story, Thomas.
這遺傳自我父親 I get it from my father.
啊哈 Uh-huh.
然後 So...
這些藝術家，不想做試管嬰兒 So, they're artists, and they don't want to use in vitro,
他們喝了點廉價葡萄酒 so they go with a cheap bottle of cabernet
吃了點安眠酮還聽著西蒙和加芬克爾的唱片 and, uh, some quaaludes and a Simon & Garfunkel record,
然後他們三個決定 and the three of them decide...
她丈夫對這個沒有意見嗎？ And-and... the husband's okay with that?
他們只想和認識的人 Well, th-they want to use somebody that they know,
和愛的人使用這種方法 somebody that they love.
當然這個藝術家是有才華的 Well, and, of course, the artist with the talent,
恩，他很高興並且也同意 he's, uh, he's flattered, and, of course, he agrees.
然後他和... And, uh, he and the...
漂亮的姑娘... The beautiful girl...
他們 ...they...
他們那天晚上走在城市的街邊 Uh, they walk the city streets that night...
走了四個小時 For hours.
他們都非常緊張 They're both so damn nervous.
最後他們到了華盛頓廣場公園 And they end up at Washington square park...
他們在那跳舞 ...where they dance...
沒有音樂 Uh... to no music.
安靜又簡單 And the rest comes easy.
他愛她嗎？ And does he love her?
是的，他愛 Yeah, he... he does. Mm.
在那個時刻他意識到他愛她 In that moment, he realizes he does.
然後他轉向 Uh, so it turns out that...
那個漂亮女孩 That the beautiful girl,
後來她生了一個完美的男孩 she gives birth to a wonderful son,
他的丈夫也放棄了藝術 and her husband gives up art,
成為了一個成功的藝術商人 becomes a very successful art dealer.
另一個藝術家呢? And the other artist?
他在暗處遠遠地看著那個男孩長大 He watches the boy grow from afar, huh?
看他自己的孩子如此有才 Sees his own talent alive in this child.
他很絕望想要和他相認 He so desperately wants to connect with his son...
告訴他一切 And tell him everything.
幫助他打磨他的才華，你知道吧？ And nurture his talent, you know?
當然，他永遠不會那樣做 But, of course, he never does make contact.
直到 Until...
直到他決定寫一本關於他的書 Until he decides to make it all his next book.
沒關係 --It's okay.
媽媽 Mom.
托馬斯 Thomas.
他跟你說了什麼？ What did he tell you?
一切 Everything.
你在找剃鬚刀嗎？ You here looking for razors?
空藥瓶？ Empty pill bottles?
坐 Sit down.
你知道什麼，托馬斯？ What do you know, Thomas?
我知道 I know...
我知道你為什麼那麼內疚 I know why you carry so much guilt.
我知道我 I know that I...
已經原諒你了 Already forgive you.
我知道你愛的是別人 I know you're in love with someone
你已經25年沒見過他了 you haven't seen in over 25 years.
你每天去河濱公園看他寫的書 And you go to riverside park every day to read his books.
我懂，我懂，沒關係 I know. I know, and it's okay.
-誰告訴你的？ -他 -Who told you? -He did.
朱利安.W.F Julian. W.F.
不管你叫他什麼 Whatever you want to call him.
他去世了嗎？ Is he dying?
沒有 He's not dying.
-沒有？-別擔心，他還活著 - No? -Don't worry, he's not dying.
他很好，只是 He's fine. He's just...
也許是累了 I don't know, he's tired.
我覺得是孤獨 Think he's lonely.
隱瞞你是我的主意，不是伊森的 It was my idea not to tell you, not Ethan's.
-你必須要清楚 -沒事 -You have to know that. -Okay.
你是在保護我 You were trying to protect me.
是的 Yes, and...
我知道如果你發現 And I knew that if you found out,
他會重新進入我的生命中 he would come back into my life,
然後一切會變得一團糟 and then everything would go to shit.
他自己會變得一團糟 Well, everything went to shit on its own, so...
是的，我猜 Yeah, I guess.
他老了嗎？ Is he old?
他很糟糕 He's messy.
是的，他總是這樣 Yeah, he always was.
一個衣冠不整的男人 An unmade bed of a man.
「一個衣冠不整的男人」 "An unmade bed of a man."
我喜歡 I like that.
你應該會 You should.
你父親寫的 Your father wrote it.
一年之後
我們關門了 We're closed.
不好意思，我想我鎖門了 I'm sorry, I thought i locked the door.
-嘿 -嘿 -Hey. -Hey.
我馬上就好 I'll be quick.
我知道我想要什麼書 I know what book I want.
好吧 Sure.
恩 Hmm.
你覺得怎麼想？ What'd you think?
湊合 Serviceable.
你說謊讓我感覺很棒 You're lying to make me feel good.
父親的性格是令我最驚喜的 Character that surprised me the most was the father.
那一個？ Which one?
沒有逃跑的那一個 The one that didn't run away.
蜜蜜怎麼樣了？ Whatever happened to Mimi?
她還在克羅地亞 She's still in Croatia.
她在那有學術獎金 She got a fellowship.
我不認為她會回來了 I don't think she's coming back.
哦 Oh.
你聽到海盜的消息了嗎？ Did you hear back from viking?
是的，都過去了 Yeah, it was a pass.
對不起 I'm sorry.
需要我打個電話聯繫聯繫嗎？ You want me to make a few phone calls?
不用了 No.
我想重新開始 I want to start something new.
我有個主意 I ha... have an idea.
恩，那不錯 Well, that's good.
你還和喬安娜聯繫嗎？ You still speaking to Johanna?
不了 No.
-你對我撒謊？ -是的 -You lying to me? -Yeah.
-你母親怎麼樣? -她不錯 -How's your mother? -She's good.
戒了煙 She quit smoking.
重新開始編輯藝術新聞 Started writing for artnews again.
-那不錯 -恩 -That's good. -Yeah.
她現在也開始約會了 She has a date tonight.
哦，挺好的 Oh, good for her.
-真的 - Truly.
"最好你沒有信念 "The best lack all conviction,
最壞你還充滿激情" while the worst are full of passionate intensity."
葉慈說過，婁·裏德也說過 --Yeats said that, but so did Lou Reed.